Perhaps it’s not the ‘Steve Keene’ your respondents are looking for, but simply ‘a’ painting. Any painting. Some of these folks sound pretty desperate.

You seem sincerely motivated in your desire to recycle the painting. So why not throw all the names in a hat, pick one, send the painting to that person. That person will then send to the next name out of the hat a painting of his or her choosing that has been sitting around ‘their’ house for the last ten years. Then another name out of the hat and another painting sent to the next contestant. And so on, and so on, and so on. This way everybody gets a painting, and no one feels left out. I myself will sadly be giving up my “Dogs Playing Poker” original.

“If you love something…”

Tom

Such an intensely philosophical statement it is that there should be none among us who present as philosophical.

Such an expression of sweeping dissatisfaction it is feel the need to impune those who fail of your own, less lofty orientation.

Such an irony it is to hear you screaming, “I am earthy!”, only to color your proclamation with a word like ‘faux’.

None of this of course is to assert that your several claims are devoid of any merit. I myself, a handful of posts back, invested in an effort to rein things back in …away from ad hominem attacks, that is, and back to a focus on “Detroit”.

Want to talk about oranges? I’m up for that. Want to talk about Orpheus? I’m up for that. Want to toss a barb my way? I’m up for that too. Doesn’t matter really. I want Keene’s painting badly enough to roll with whatever presents and to deal with it, post by post, regardless. Personally I lean toward great civility. But dealing with fits of incivility comes easy enough for me if the need arises, however unwelcomely.

Now it may be that you want “Detroit” more than I do. I’m in no position to judge such things. But if you do want it more than I do, a couple of things come clear. One is that you’ll have to demonstrate that you do. A single angry post won’t cut it. The other is that you’ve got a lot of catching up to do. If that means you need to generate a string of nasty replies, so be it. But even there I’ll meet you post for post. Ten posts later you’ll have not only failed to gain ground but will have done me the favor of presenting me the platform by which to prove beyond all doubt I want it most. It may be that crassness is an approach that is certain to fail you.

There again, winning the painting may not be what motivates you here at all.

Do tell yourselves.

Are we getting off topic!

Freaks!!!!!

Just send the faux-painting to me, Ok!

We don’t need that hi-brow crap ’round here.

And to prove it, just read the crap from the 300 idiots above who actually want the thing.

Ashley

But then you knew that.

How else to turn straw into gold?

I want it for not dissimilar reasons. And obviously I want it badly enough to stay on top of it rather watchfully. And just like anyone else here who really wants it, I want it because it would greatly please me to have it. This then is where we share common ground. Where we differ on it, though one could argue that ’should’ matter, very likely doesn’t matter at all. Our donor placed no such stipulations on his promise, no express interest in “why” you want the painting …only that you want it decidedly and demonstrably badly. So again, take heart. Step in and fight for it, yes? The trade is more than a fair one. Imagine how daily gratifying it is for our donor to read our various pleas and offerings and wranglings and machinations of mind even. Heck, it’s even fun for us. Terrific idea I must say, even if that does sound like a bit of stroking. No matter. Stroking won’t cut it. How badly do you want Keene’s work? How badly do you actually want to WIN something? This we are assured is the true measure of the thing as it stands.

Myself I think I’ve done a fine job of calling the painting for what it is, that is, for what it is intended to say and/or evoke. So what? I mean, that’s cool. It’s cool that someone could do that. But again, go back to the criterion here. Our donor did not promise it to whoever can best interpret it. It goes to whoever wants it the most in his estimation. I purpose, obviously, to demonstrate that I do. But whether I ‘understand’ the painting or not is not directly relevant. It is relevant for me in the sense that there this passion factor. But someone could be a million miles away from understanding the painting and still, regardless, demonstrate a great desire to own it. Why not? Step up and go for it. The only thing you have to lose is pretty much the certainty you’ll have to endure my long-winded contributions along the way …which, by the way, you might very much like disliking.

Either way, I’d like to officially withdraw myself from this prizeless competition. In doing this I can site several positive outcomes for myself.

1. I cannot now lose this, unlike the 300 others.

2. I cannot win the painting that I now know I do not want to win. Thus I have actually “won” something far more valuable, self-respect.

3. By reading some of the other “enteries” including my own, I realised that for something “free” people will pretty much sell any shred of decency that they have. This has reminded me that in America, everything is for sale, but now more importantly, even stuff that is shit can be fought over.

4. Thankfully, the tin of paint that I used to paint my walls at home cost me $100. If you calculate the area that the painting would likely cover, it’s equal to about $0.72 of paint, definately worth more than the painting itself! On that note, if anyone would like to win my empty can of paint they are more than welcome to submit their enteries here…

So… finally… I officially withdraw from this competition. Goodluck to the eventual loser, and I hope the other 300 winners realise how close they came to owning a horrible piece of shit-cake art. Ask yourself, if this guy doesn’t want it, why would you?

Occasionally I’ve come upon a reply which, fortunately, lacks such transparent trappings and which, at the same time, at least attempts to explore the artist’s perspective. So far, to me, KaiBreezy’s careful poem is the most poignant and refreshing.

It’ll be a pleasure going through all of them. No telling what I missed.

Easy to understand how your pen ran out of ink and forced you to leave off the last two letters, “OT”.

Add homynym, add hawk.

Interesting play on a bra’d stroke however.