Our discerning judge, Pat Fisher a.k.a. Archibald Drinkwater a.k.a. Vladimir Kerchenko has handed down his decision, and explains his methodology in the following edict:
We Have a Lucky Weiner !
it was extremely difficult to select a winner amongst the many many entries ( um, 13?) in the Fink’s Orange Marmalade label design contest, and we thank each of the entrants for their time and efforts.
tasked with the heavy responsibility of being the sole judge and arbiter of Good Taste in this endeavor, i wanted a process that would produce a clean and pure result without the corrupting influence of nepotism, bribes, or simply selecting the label designed by the person with the most arousing breasts.
so after locking myself within the confines of my swanky minimalist bachelor pad i embarked on the process which consisted of taking naps, listening to Tapes n Tapes, chasing my kat larry around the house so he would do power slides on the polished concrete floors, engaging in mystical and transformative bowel movements, until i soon realized that none of these methods were clearing my mind well enough to produce a clean result.
what to do ??
luckily i recalled when a new pope is chosen the shriveled old men of catholicism retreat to a sweat lodge and send a fart of smoke up into the air after days of deliberation signifying a new pope has been hatched.
absent a cadre of wise old shriveled men, i decided the most prudent thing to do would be to strip naked and enter my Finnish Sauna and sit in 160-180 degree heat and sweat the selection out of my pores………. after about 20 minutes it became clear: the winning entrant had appeared to me a few weeks before and i somehow knew any other entrant could not surpass the physical manifestation of Marmalade to such a degree as TOON did with his magical Marmalade Man !
Toon’s use of color, type style, verbiage and a charismatic humanoid orange was too much for the feeble competition….. CONGRATULATIONS TOON !
Please tell us to which zip-code in Mozambique we should ship your new ball clock.